Sunday, December 16, 2007

More Coffee Sir?

Link between caffeinated elixir and basic politeness (not) found.

The power of coffee cannot be denied.  It's effectiveness has providing a boost of energy and momentary concentration has been seen over and over again.  This magical concoction of cocoa beans and water seems to make the impossible possible.  It's the working mans steroids.  Add cream and sugar and it's like someone took a rainbow and poured it into your cup or mug.  You know what's weird though and what most people never have been able to pinpoint is that for all of coffees abilities at energizing people it also seems to be drunk by mainly dickheads.  Why is that?

I like coffee.  I didn't used to drink it and now I do it almost daily.  Am I a dickhead?  No answers from the peanut gallery please. I'd like to think that I have avoided that effect coffee brings to people.  I mean were these people always crappy to others?  Did they always feel they need to be jerky?  When I speak of these people I simply mean the ones who say things like, "Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee." or "I cannot function today without some coffee."  Hey how about "you can't function with others with coffee, you piece of crap."  Here's another thing I 'd love to to tell people to love the coffee.  "Hey buddy, don't talk to me after you've had your coffee, in fact just please don't talk to me.  You're an asshole."  



Look I'm sorry but there should be a warning that comes with coffee or people who drink coffee.  
*Warning if you are currently drinking this bitter beverage or about to start drinking it you could end up losing friends and coolness points.  Also your breath will smell like pure ass.  Good luck.*

Look I understand if you need a pick-me-up.  We all do sometimes.  Just please don't let your pick me up turn into a knock-me-down.

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